Monday, October 28, 2013

Long night

The list from last week? Yeah, I only did one of those things, organize Clem's party. So of course, it is raining today and my windshield wipers aren't working.

My gal and I had a fight last night. There was even yelling. We never have yelling. My eyes are all puffy and I could use a hug. Well, that and a nap. I slept horribly.

I had Clem's parent-teacher conference on Friday. She got all As and her teacher said that other than talking too much, she's doing very well. Apparently, she's just like her mother.

That's really all I've got for today.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Is it really only Tuesday?

So, I'm feeling a lot less depressed.

I had services last week for a 15 year old girl that died. Her parents hadn't been together for a long time, and they don't get along at all, so I was the go-between. They each came in to arrange services separately, and each party had their own visitation/funeral for their daughter. Very odd. Everything went smoothly though, and both the mother and the father complimented the Kid and myself with how wonderfully it went. They both also told me that they were grateful for me dealing with their ex so that they didn't have to. Honestly, they were both pleasant, so it didn't bother me really, except for the extra time. Whatever.

These are my goals this week today:
1. organize a price list for all the funeral programs. Do not stop until it makes sense and looks pretty.
2. get new windshield wipers. My car is suffering. It also needs a bath.
3. organize Clem's 7th birthday party.
4. find and order some cute suspenders.
5. grocery shopping! I don't know why I avoid doing that on weekends when I have time to.

So, we'll see if I can kick it into gear and get stuff done.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


The sun still isn't out.

I'm still kinda down.

I was going to do a lot more with my day than what I've done so far.

I need to just go back to bed.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Short little post

I'm a bit bored today. I don't have any services, so I'm just doing paperwork and it's starting to make me tired. Also, the sun isn't shining today, it's overcast and somewhat gloomy, which makes me feel kinda down.

I got a new tattoo last Sunday and it finally doesn't itch much anymore. It's on the inside of my left arm, and I really like it. I have to go back to get it shaded and it's everything I can do to not want to have him do the shading and start on a new one at the same time. Grrr, they are so addicting.

Clementine is in first grade now. Can you believe? She's a total sass-mouth, but is also fairly sweet. Interestingly, she is into death more than other kids her age, an just the other day she pulled one of her Barbies out of its casket and said, "Look mom, isn't she so well embalmed?" Quite funny.  Her dad and I get along well, he lives close to me, and Clem seems to like that we are still a close family.

Okay, that's all I got right now.

Thursday, October 3, 2013


It amazes me how many people find this site using search terms like "butt plug" "anal leakage" "orifice sewing" and so on. Apparently people wonder about that often enough to ask Google.

So, today I will be putting a deceased gentleman in a casket. The coroner estimates that he was dead for approximately four days before he was found in his bedroom, in a house without air conditioning. He is so bad that the family had to hire a trauma scene clean up team to clean the room. Pretty gross.

The family still wanted him embalmed, so I had to explain to them that I couldn't embalm him the way I normally would, but instead I would have to just let the embalming fluid seep into his tissues (like I do with fetuses) and let it do it's job that way. Well, after seeing the condition of this guy's remains, I'm fucking grateful that I told the family he'd have to be embalmed that way. I knew I was in for it when the smell hit me after he was brought in from the coroner's office. He was in a disaster pouch (it's like a heavy-duty body bag), and it really doesn't contain smells too well. So, I get a sheet ready and the Kid opens up the bag so I could lay the sheet on him. Let me just say, it has been quite a while since I've seen that much decomposition. I think I gagged three times. It really is the worst smell imaginable. So, I lay the sheet on him, his chest cavity was all open and exposed (when decomposition starts the gas build-up in the tissues becomes too great, while the tissues are getting weaker, and they just kinda pop), and his face was hardly even there. It was horrible. So, then we pour bottles of high-index (strong) embalming fluid on the sheet, close the bag and put him back in the fridge.

Today we will put him in his casket and he'll have a Rosary, then tomorrow Carlos and I will take him to Mass, then to the cemetery. I just hope no one notices the smell.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


So, I am no longer a Rotary Club virgin. The Kid took me to my first meeting today in the town where he works. Actually, a man from a service that he and I worked together a couple of weeks ago invited me to the one in the town where I work, and I have that one on Thursday, so I'm going to end up having gone to two this week. I'll end up joining the one here in the town I'm in, but I'm glad to have had company that I know today, because I figure Thursday will be awkward since I don't yet know any of the people. I'm just happy it wasn't as cult-y as I thought it would be.

I had a service yesterday, but it wasn't very exciting. I mean, it was Mass, how exciting could it be?

Also, I got a bunch of new clothes today. Super cute.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Question from 8thday

I was wondering - do you know what the percentage is of people using churches vs. funeral homes for their funerals? And has that percentage changed over the years? It seems like the vast majority of services I attend are now done (non-religiously) right in the funeral home. But that might be a product of who I am and where I live.

I really wish I had an answer for you, but it's hard for me to figure out. I mean, I suppose that the families that choose to have services tend toward their own church, but I have seen an increase in the number of chapel services, and I have had families ask for the chapel specifically because they wanted something non-religious. Part of the reason I don't feel like I can accurately answer you though, is that the last job I had was in a fairly large city, and larger cities tend to be less religious, therefore making the church services less popular. Before that I was in a smaller farming community, and they are traditional as anything, so they are more likely to use churches (and also more likely to choose burial instead of cremation, which also means they are more likely to have services of any kind). Does that clear anything up?