Hate: a four-letter word?

I was listening to music with Clem (she's three) and she told me "I don't sing when it's the part with the bad word."  I couldn't think of what bad word the song we were listening to had, so I asked her what word it was that she thought was bad (thinking that maybe she was getting the lyrics wrong, or that I was) and she hesitated, probably thinking that she wasn't sure if it was really okay to say it, and finally said, "hate."  Now, I am sure that my sister (not my favorite one, the other one) told her that hate is a bad word, she's the one that watches Clem while I'm at work, and I'm okay with that, I don't really want my kid running around saying that she hates things, but at the same time, I don't want her thinking hate is a bad word just like fuck or bitch or something.  So, I explained to her that hate isn't a bad word, but that it can be hurtful to people (she said, "mom, if it's hurtful then that's bad," making me explain that, too), and we have to understand that it is rarely necessary to use the word.  I also explained that a lot of times it is used when people don't really mean it, and that they don't even realize they're saying it (which she told me is something I do all the time (kid notices everything apparently).

I'm fairly confident that I did the right thing.  It isn't a bad word, right?

It's like being in an episode of The Twilight Zone

So, this week has been unending.  We had six services today, and new families to meet with.  It was insane.  We had five services yesterday.  I have just about gone mad.

Anyway, there's a visitation tonight, it starts in just a few minutes, and the family was a little late in approving the info we have on the deceased, so Buffy is just finishing up on printing the programs and register book.  He's been super busy all day anyway though, so it's not like it would have been completed a long time ago had the family approved our paperwork sooner.  Anyway, Big Bird (funeral office Nazi) just took a call that apparently was a family member of the visitation-tonight-guy, letting us know that we had an incorrect middle initial for him.  So, she tells Buffy and he just says, "great, now I have to reprint the book and everything." He sounded really sad when he said it, you could hear the I-thought-today-was-over-and-now-I-have-to-stay-late disappointment in his voice, and Big Bird did something I never thought I'd see.  She leaned in to him (he was sitting with his back to her, she was standing behind him) and lightly rubbed his back with the back of her index finger.  It was so loving and mother-like I just about died.  Buffy even looked over at me with this "wtf" expression, and we just kinda stared at each other.  It was the weirdest thing.  So, anyway, that's all I've got for today.

Join me next week for a recap of the decapitation case...

For Miss Anne

I might end up taking this photo down, as I don't want anyone to recognize me, but I look cute today, and Miss Anne wanted a photo a while back...

The comfort of tradition

I'm at a service. It's a Rosary followed by a Mass, followed by the cremation of the deceased's remains. Usually when we're as busy as we are right now I don't like working services, as I am constantly thinking about what I could be doing at the office, not thinking about being a great funeral director, but today I am glad to be here. It could be partly because I don't have to go to the cemetery after we finish, which is always cold at this hour and this time of year, but mostly it's because I just need a break, and it turns out this Rosary the priest is saying is soothing me. I love the sound of his voice, and the response the crowd gives. The words sound beautiful and melodic, and I just want to hear them over and over, the rest of the day, and let them wash my tiredness and stress away in a river of peacefull lyrics. I can think here. I can relax. I can breathe.

I don't suppose I will ever know why it is that the words of the Rosary are so wonderful to me. I'm not Catholic, although my mom often tells me that I should have been born her (raised Catholic) and she been born me (raised Presbyterian). There's just something about it having always been done this way, the tradition of the prayers, and the holiness of it all. I'm just glad to be here, at this little church, hearing these words.

I don't remember ever being this busy

OMFG.

Number of cases we have in house: 21

Number of cases I want to be working on: 0

I am so busy I can hardly see straight.  Monica was on call this weekend, and she called to let me know we were swamped over the weekend.  We got an auto accident case who is actually Monica's uncle (in-law), and he should be arriving any minute for me to check him out and see how extensive the damage is on his head.  I'm hoping that he's not too bad mostly because of how little time I have to work on him, and also because I don't want Monica to see him like that, even if she is a tough girl.

I also have a case that is going to be shipped in from Oregon.  I love seeing death certificates from other states, so that should be fun.

Anyway, I am really sorry for the lack of posting.

Just a small update

It's been a busy week, I had three services yesterday and have four today. I'm out at a cemetery right now, at a service for a young guy that was killed in an accident (motorcycle). His viewing was yesterday, he is such a handsome kid, and the family thought he looked amazing. His bone structure was fine for the most part, the only fractures I found were inside his cranium, where the occipital lobes attach to the rest of the skull, and the flesh was still intact so I wasn't required to do any wiring of the bones. His face was a bit scratched and fairly bruised, but after a while I was able to get him looking perfect. His dad even called my cell last night to tell me how beautiful his son looked and to tell me thanks, which was really nice.

Okay, I'm back in the office now. I have a memorial service starting shortly, and I'm not going to have time to blog later today, as I have a few cases that need my attention after the service, but I am on call this weekend, so there's a chance I will be blogging tomorrow.

Maybe a little late...

So, I'm sorry I haven't updated, here are my excuses: Thanksgiving week = a day off, but not less deaths, so a five day week's worth of work has to get accomplished in 4 (actually more like 3 and a half, we all check out at about noon on the day before Thanksgiving); I've been sick, actually fairly certain it was H1N1, but am now recovering; I haven't felt like internetting much this week for some reason. Anyway, here is a list of my thankful things:

1. I'm thankful for my family. I was sitting with my sister having a beer and I was thinking about how nice it was to have Thanksgiving with a family that I don't dread being around. My mom's side of the family came to town: three aunts, three uncles, a couple of cousins and their kids, my hubby, my daughter, my sister (the one I was having the beer with, the other one was with her in-laws), my parents, and a good friend of mine. We hung around and ate and drank, and it was a blast, actually not too different from any other year, which is probably why I never really thought that Thanksgiving could be a bummer holiday were it spent with family members I don't enjoy. So, there I was, having a beer with my sister sometime on Saturday afternoon, and I was thinking how lucky I am to have a totally fun dysfunctional family, instead of a dreadful yet functional one.

2. I'm thankful for this blog. Another thing I realized while having beer with my sister is that I am so glad I have an outlet for my job. Not that my friends don't want to hear about how work is going, they kinda do, but not in the depth that I would like to share it with them. This blog has been quite the stress reliever, not to mention how it has helped me to feel less like I'm crazy for loving my job, as all of you readers make me feel like there are a handful of folks out there that understand my love for this field, and actually are interested in the goings-on of my day-to-day, instead of being grossed out. It's really pretty awesome to have you guys.

3. I'm thankful that I'm pretty. Yeah, I know it's shallow, and I also know that I might not be pretty to everyone, but I think I'm pretty. Actually, I know I'm pretty, and I'm proud of it. I love my super-short haircut (it's an 8 on the back and sides, a little longer on top, and is usually spiky, or faux-hawked). I love my green eyes. I love my faint freckles. I love my smile. I love my tattoos. I love my style.

4. I'm thankful for books.  I read a bit this Thanksgiving and the following weekend, and I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy a good book. I love to sit in my rocking chair and read, drinking some tea (or beer) and letting the cat sit on my blanketed lap and keep my legs warm.  It's peaceful and exciting at the same tome, which not many things are, and I am blessed to have enough money to spend on books, and a reading family to let me borrow theirs.

5. I'm thankful for my friends.  Really, I'm thankful right now for my friend, J, the girl I blogged about a while back.  She and I haven't been close like we were in the beginning, but she's been amazingly good to me none the less, and has really gone outside her boundaries to be there for me.  She feels like a sister to me, and I am so thankful to have found her. She feels like a soul mate, and I've never had one of those before, and even though typing that sounds asinine even to me, it's true.  I've lucked out really, and am grateful that she's here.