Thursday, January 28, 2010

It feels strange...

So, I'm kinda in a shitty spot.  I might go into detail someday, but for now I'll just tell you a little bit.  As of today I am living with my parents.  I don't know how long I'll live here with them, I have to make some decisions about my marriage that I think will be quite hard.  I've been given the choice of staying in the town I live in now, where my job and family and friends and life are and giving up my daughter half of the time but keeping my freedom while the hubby moves away, or staying with him and moving away from this city and leaving behind any freedoms I've ever had.  I'd like to think that I'm really making a decision for the next few days but the way it looks now I've pretty much made up my mind.  I went to my place to pick up clothes and a toothbrush and stuff and feel like a high school kid again at home with mom and dad.  I've never felt so broken as I do right now, and leaving my daughter crying and telling me that she just needed me as I walked away was the hardest thing ever, but how could I tell her that mommy isn't welcome any more?  I'm sad guys, and I'm confused and broken and scared.

5 comments:

Miss Anne said...

Oh sweet pea. My heart goes out to you right now. I am here (just an email away) if you want/need to talk. I hope you know this.

I am thinking of you, sending a big hug, and always here to listen.

I mean it.

MattOnFire said...

I'm really sorry to hear this... I know I'm on the other side of the country, but if there is anything I can do to make this time easier for you, please let me know.

Ivan Toblog said...

I can only say that I am just a little familiar with how you are feeling... I wasn't able, nor did I want, to move back in with my folks.
Ya'll know we are here for you. I have big ears, a broad shoulder and an open mind... except, of course when I have my own problems.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you but enjoy your blog. I have been in the situation of relocating for my husband's job and leaving my friends, job, neighborhood I loved, etc. and it took a major toll on my identity and happiness. Hope everything works out for you for the best.

Doll Face said...

Thanks, guys.