Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Completely personal

So, I’ve been living with my parents the last few weeks, and I found a two bedroom apartment for me and Clem that I can move into this week. The hubby has been really good to me, not seeming angry or vengeful, which has been a relief. He and I switch off with Clem, and even though I don’t like when she’s away, I don’t worry about her when she’s with her dad. He finally told his parents this weekend, and I don’t really know what they had to say, other than suggesting that we get a legal separation asap.

I am beginning to feel better about the situation, although I miss some of the friends that I feel like I’ve lost, and I don’t quite feel “at home” with my parents and sisters. I have a few friends that have been really great though, and even though I get a bit depressed sometimes, I feel like I most likely won’t die of all of it.

The owner for the funeral home has treated me really well, and offers (horrible but appreciated) advice to me all the time. Actually, I’ve come to realize that he, along with my manager, are great listeners, and neither one of them has made me feel judged in this whole thing, and I find myself being completely honest with both of them (which is quite a feat for me).

The rest of the office has also been nice, but less serious. They refuse to call me by my married name, and now are calling me by my maiden name, even though I have no intention of changing my name back any time soon, and the other day played me a version of Taps, complete with a military salute, for the “death of my marriage” as they so nicely put it. It sounds kinda shallow and cold, but I laughed with them and said thanks.


HomeSlice said...

having gone through this recently, i can tell you that the people you assume will be there for you often are not, and the ones you never thought would WILL be. it's the weirdest experience of my life, but it's definitely been a growth experience. sounds like you are doing very well with all of it - hang in there!

IT said...

It's probably hardest for the people who've known you the longest and easier for those who spend the most time with you. They are the ones who care about you the most, but for different reasons.
It says a lot about you that your co-workers are able to inject some humor.
Oh, and I can vouch for the fact that you "likely won't die of all of it." On the other hand it is probably not the most enjoyable roller coaster ride, either.

Miss Anne said...

i love and support you thoroughly to do what's best for you and commend you for doing right by your daughter/family.

Chin up, smile, pray, love.